Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
