I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
