How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
