ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
