The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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