Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
