do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
