East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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