I can't watch pbs sober anymore
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
