It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
