If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
