What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
