Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Who died my cat blue again?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
