i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
