got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
