Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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