I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
