You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
