this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
