i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
