Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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