She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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