Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
