who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
