it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
people are starting to question the shark bite story
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
