Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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