You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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