if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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