why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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