so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
