I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
