for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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