Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
