i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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