i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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