So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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