My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
