1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
