She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I will be naked everywhere
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
