hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
