Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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