believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Houston, we have a squirter
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You don't make any sense
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