You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
