he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
