When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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