My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
