Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
