I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
