my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
