Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
