I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
