But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
